Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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