I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
