You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
