I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
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Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
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He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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