so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
