Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
