I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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