don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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