I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize