Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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