hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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