Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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