like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
