i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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