Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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