Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
