the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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