You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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