do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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