It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
