Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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