i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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