Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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