no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
