I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
please come you make the beer taste better
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
