Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
