Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
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Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize