what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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