just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
