it wasn't lemon gatorade
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
