It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
