Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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