Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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