you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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