My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
