hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
