I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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