JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
