last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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