White coat. Heels.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
