I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
