Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
