What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize
