i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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