he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
