The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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