We need to start having sex underwater more often.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
