So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize