yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
