His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize