U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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