Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
