so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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