I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
