Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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