ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
