Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
be right there i have to get my cape
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
