is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
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There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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