At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
