I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
