summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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