now i know why i became what i already was.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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