Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
