Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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