Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
