Yo dont text me then not text me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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