I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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