just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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