Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
